A Pattern of Words

For so long it seems like I’ve been tethered to children and suddenly I’m realizing: this is IT. This is gonna be THE summer! The summer the kids all disappear to play with neighbors for hours at a time and I won’t even know which house they’re at and THAT WILL BE SO COOL. N took her first spin all the way around the block by herself on her bike and I got nervous and dashed to the alley to see if I’d see her crossing over, but she beat me and was back at the front door before I knew it. This summer, I fully anticipate the boys regularly going to the playground on their own (about 4 blocks away) to shoot hoops and meet friends. They might even discover that the 7-11 down the block sells blue icees that only cost a few bucks and will change the color of their tongue. Today they stayed home alone while I drove to pick up groceries and dropped a package off at the post office. That felt so big. This is the summer I bet E learns to swim and possibly tries jumping off the diving board (the kids all discussed the idea in the car and she was completely open to it for the first time ever).

The anticipation and the sometimes-nervousness and the glee at seeing them so independent is real and it hurts in the best way possible.